Siang ini saat membuka beranda Facebook saya menemukan
sebuah link dengan judul yang menarik. Setelah dibaca ya rasanya datar-datar
saja (maklum, kan belum jadi seorang istri). Tapi pingin share di
blog pribadi biar suatu saat nanti suami saya bisa baca (eh, aamiin). hihi check
this out~
Most men have a hard time understanding women. Even a
woman they’ve been married to for years. One minute she’s perfectly fine, the
next, she’s crying like a baby. She complains about something but when we
offer advice on how to fix it, she still isn’t satisfied. After several years
of marriage (and counseling) I’ve learned to not worry so much about what my
wife says. Instead, I should worry about what she doesn’t say.
1.
Above all, She Wants Your love
When a wife shows her husband less respect, he in turn
shows her less love.
And when a husband shows his wife less love, she in
turn shows him less respect.
And the vicious cycle repeats itself.
Stop this prophecy before it becomes self-fulfilling.
Show love to your wife.
That’s what she wants. Love her despite her flaws and
quirks.
And Inshallah, she’ll respect you
despite your flaws and quirks.
2.
She’s Bored
It’s the same thing every day.
Week in and week out.
Not only is she bored but she’s also tired.
She has to care for the kids and run the household and
then pamper you.
Just thinking about doing that every day makes me want
to crawl under my covers and hide. I can imagine how the average Muslim
housewife must feel.
And let’s not forget about working woman. Many Muslim
women have to work a full time job as well as hold a house down.
So brothers, I implore you, make your wife feel
special. Give her a break.
Take her out sometimes. Surprise her with a surprise
meal. Bring her favorite desert home.
Just do something every now and then to break the
monotony.
3.
She Wants to be Complimented
Appreciation. Everybody wants it. No one
wants to feel as if the hard work they do goes unnoticed or even worse, it
taken for granted.
Your wife does not have to clean your dirty clothes.
And she does not have to cook your meals. But she does. And she does
that on top of all the other things in her life:
Caring for the kids.
Working or going to school.
Striving to be a better Muslimah.
Show your Muslim wife that you appreciate and are
thankful for the things she does to maintain you and your family. A simple
“thank you” is a good start.
4.
She’s Insanely Jealous
There’s a reason most women don’t care for
polygamy. Be very careful how you talk about other women around your
wife. Don’t ever compare your wife to another woman.
Don’t compare her to some female movie star.
Don’t compare her to your mother.
Never, ever compare her to your ex-wife (or other
wife!)
She’s wants to know and believe that she is the center
of your universe. So make her feel that way.
Even the Prophet’s (pbuh) wives got jealous. Aisha
(RA) even got jealous of Khadijah (RA) who was dead.
Expect, and respect,
the same type of jealousy from your wife.
5.
She Wants You to Help Her become A Better Muslimah
I can’t stress enough the importance of men taking the
role of leader within their families.
And that’s the problem with a lot of Muslim men these
days.
Not only are they not being good leaders, they’re
being led by their wives (or mothers, or other women in their lives).
Your wife desires and wants you to be her leader. And
what better way to lead her than to be show her how to be a better Muslimah?
But you can’t show her how to become better if you’re
not that great either. Therefore, you have to upgrade your Iman. You have to
improve yourself and then pass it on to her in a gentle, respectful way.
6.
She Doesn’t Like to Nag, But Sometimes You Make It Hard
It’s a common myth that women like to nag their
husbands. That’s not entirely true.
Yes, there are some people (men and women) whom you
can never please. No matter what you do, they’ll always find fault in
something. Let’s be reminded of the following hadith:
Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas: The Prophet said: “I was shown
the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were
ungrateful.” It was asked, “Do they disbelieve in Allah?” (or are they
ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, “They are ungrateful to their husbands and
are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If
you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees
something in you (not of her liking), she will say, ‘I have never received any
good from you.” – Sahih Bukhari.
So, yes sisters should be careful about denegrating
the things your husband does for you.
But very often, you brother, make it hard for her to
hold your tongue.
Perhaps you’re always finding fault with her and she
looks for things in your character to get even.
Perhaps you’re not working (or not working hard
enough) and she has to work to take up some slack.
Perhaps you’re just not that great of a guy.
Once again, upgrade yourself and give her less reasons
to complain and nag.
7.
More Than Anything, She Wants a Stable, Happy Relationship With You
Women don’t get married just because they think it’s
gonna be fun.
They get married because they want a happy family life
and they believe you’re gonna give it to them.
Outside of her religious duties, that’s the most
important thing in a Muslim woman’s life. Raising a happy, stable, Muslim
family.
The funny thing is, it’s very easy for you to give
that to her.
Stop acting like a jerk. Be a good husband to her. Be
kind. Show her you love her.
Don’t threaten her with divorce or taking a second
wife. Yes, you have the right to do both. But using them as threats is
inappropriate and detrimental to your marriage.
Trust in Allah, watch out for the tricks of Shaytan,
and be patient with her. There’s nothing Shaytan would love more than to
destroy your marriage.
See? That isn’t all that hard, now is it?
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